A Downward Trend?
I think "Praying for adversity makes me stronger in faith (and I think stronger in other ways) though scarred and twitchy." But, does Jesus really want me stronger? Isn't it in my weakness and brokenness that he is strong? Is the pain and trauma worth it ... it is certainly not if we look at our wounds and tics and night frights and consider how whole we might have been without the trauma. Is the pain and trauma worth it ... it just might be if we consider the path to greatness one that weakens us and tears us down and horribly mars what could've been an otherwise healthy, happy, and whole person. The path to spiritual sageness is ever-increasing frailty and trauma-induced fright? Might be ... he must become greater and I must become less. Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. No student is greater than his teacher. The first will be last and the last will be first. His strength is glorified in my [weakness/trauma/wounding]. This line of thinking can get a bit fatalist-feeling, but maybe when we would graph spiritual maturity and walking by faith and not by sight as an up and to the right thing, maybe God graphs it as a downward trend. What do you think?